I understand Curling. That high.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm too high and old for this...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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