I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
