Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
