I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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