I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
