My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
