this boner is exhausting
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
