then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
