I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
