I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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