It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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