Having a random hookup so left but love u
we made out on top of his cat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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