I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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