Where is the hickey?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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