I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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