I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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