does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
