I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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