so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
