my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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