my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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