Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
