Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
