Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
