I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
