Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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