did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
