Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
