wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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