You just made me feel so damn special
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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