You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
