So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize