i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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