Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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