somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
