just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
