she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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