Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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