1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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