Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
