His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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