Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
