It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am midnight drunk by noon
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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