i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
