So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
