Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
