i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
