She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
