I want to walk on stilts...naked
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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