Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
