Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize