no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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