you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
