Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
