After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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