At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
