the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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