also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
