so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
