how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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