If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
